Mean Boys
by DanzQueenB
Summary: Arthur is a hit with The Bad Touch Trio, the A-list boy clique at his new school, until he makes the mistake of falling for Alfred F. Jones, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Bad Touch Francis Bonnefoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"**

Summary: Hetalia/Mean Girls crossover.

Arthur is a hit with The Bad Touch Trio, the A-list boy clique at his new school, until he makes the mistake of falling for Alfred F. Jones, the ex-boyfriend of alpha Bad Touch Francis Bonnefoy.

Chapter 1:

"Okay Arthur, you have everything?"

"Yes Iain. May I leave now?"

"Don't act cocky with me! If you forget something for your first day, it's not going to be my problem."

I guess it's natural for your big brother/guardian to be worried about you on your first day of school…but you know this usually happens when the kid is five. I'm sixteen and until today I was home-schooled. Now I know what you're thinking. Home-schooled kids are freaks or weirdly religious or something…but my family is normal except for the fact that my parents died when I was young and now I live with my step brother from Scotland. Iain owned a small bakery in England where I have lived almost all my life. My brother looks imitating with his red hair, green eyes, and the cigarette he seemed to be always smoking but really he is a big softy who loved sugary sweets and pastries. While my brother worked at the bakery, I was home-schooled by an older lady who taught me how to be a gentleman. I had a great life! But then suddenly an American company wanted Iain to open up his bakery in New York so it was goodbye England and hello high school.

"See you later, Flying Mint Bunny." I waved goodbye to my friend who happened to be a flying green rabbit. He's not imaginary! Why, even Iain can see him.

World Academy W was a block from our new house in New York. The school was known for its multicultural students and prestigious schooling. I walked through the giant gates and looked down at my schedule. I had homeroom first in room 231. I just had to find it. I followed a bunch of kids, who didn't seem to speak English, to my first class.

"Excuse me." I tapped the shoulder of a girl who had her back to me. She was standing at the front of the class and she was wearing a very short skirt, "I don't know if anyone told you but I'm a new student. My name is Arthur Kirkland." The girl turned around…only she wasn't a girl.

"Like do I look like a teacher?" The cross dresser sat down in a desk at the front. Two students started to laugh. One, I noted, was a girl with dark brown hair who sat in the middle row right in front of the laughing male. He definitely came from Japanese background. I ignored the two and turned my attention back to the desks. I wanted to sit close to the front so I could see but the only available seat was next to the cross dresser. I took a deep breath and was about to claim the seat when the girl with dark brown hair spoke,

"You don't want to sit there." She shook her head, "Feliks Łukasiewicz's boyfriend is going to sit there."

"Boyfriend?" I thought before he heard a voice behind him,

"Excuse me. Are you going to sit there?" I turned around to see Feliks' boyfriend.

"Toris! Like come and sit beside me." Feliks beckoned him over. I moved aside so Toris could sit down. Suddenly Feliks tried to kiss Toris,

"Not here!" Toris squeaked. I hugged my books to my chest, embarrassed. I saw another empty desk and made my way to it. It was just seated behind a dark skinned guy who looked Cuban whose hair was in dreadlocks. I was just about to sit down when the Japanese guy and the dark brown haired girl shook their heads,

"Better pick another seat. He farts a lot." She held her nose, "Cause all he eats is ice cream."

"Hey!" The Cuban sounded offended. I sighed and walked to the front of the class, looking for another seat. Unfortunately, I wasn't looking where I was going…

"Ve~ Hey everybody!" I bumped into the speaker who had been holding a plate of pasta. The sauce went all over his white shirt. The class burst out laughing.

"Oh bullocks! I'm so sorry!" I bent down to pick up the papers the person had dropped.

"That's okay…but it was such good pasta." The man started to unbutton his shirt. Another man was walking past. He popped his head into the room,

"Mr. Vargas! What are you doing?"

"Ludwig! I spilt my pasta!"

"Feliciano! Put on some clothes!" Ludwig cringed, "And don't refer to me by my first name." He cleared his throat, "Well I just wanted everyone to know that we have a new student joining us. He moved here from England." Feliciano gestured to a boy, who wore a slouch hat,

"Welcome!"

The boy looked confused, "I'm from Australia." The boy's accent was indeed Australian.

"Great." Feliciano looked to Ludwig for help. Ludwig pulled a paper out of his pocket,

"His name is Arthur. Arthur Kirkland."

"That's me!" I raised my hand. I still wasn't sitting in a desk but I merely stood to one side of the class.

"Ve~ Welcome Arthur and thank you Ludwig."

"Mr. Vargas," Ludwig decided not to get mad at him. He turned to the class, "Good day everybody." He said in his thick German accent before leaving the classroom to check in on the other teachers on the first day back.

The rest of the day was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. I got in trouble for the most random things like asking to go to the toilet. I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me…or understand me. They were always yelling at me. In the cafeteria, I couldn't find anyone to seat with. I didn't have a lot of friends in England but I had none in America. I ate my lunch alone.

When I came home, Iain was sitting on the porch with a cigarette in his mouth.

"How was your first day?" He asked with a grin. Flying Mint Bunny flew around me excited. I was so upset that I marched to my room to do my homework. Yes, we got homework on the first day. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to go home. Back to England…but then I remembered why we were here. Iain had his dream bakery. I was just going to have to suck it up and go back to that school.

At school the next day in homeroom, the dark haired girl and the Japanese boy started talking to me.

"Have you ever thought about cross dressing as a girl?" The boy suddenly asked.

"Excuse me?" I looked up from my book. Class hadn't started yet.

"You just have such a feminine look to you" The boy explained, "and I would love to make a doujinshi of you and your adventures as a girl."

"What?" I was still confused.

"This is Kiku." The dark haired introduced, "He is the world's biggest otaku."

"Otaku?" I felt like they were speaking a different language.

"He's obsessed with anime, manga, video games…I mean who isn't?" The girl laughed, "I'm a fujoshi myself."

"Huh?" I still had no idea what they were talking about but I remembered my manners, "Nice to meet you, Kiku." Suddenly a boy with a funny hat on his head and a posh coat leaned on the girl's desk,

"Hey Elizabeta, what you doing later?" He grinned.

"Not you." The girl grabbed his collar, "Don't forget about my frying pan. It's in my locker right now but I can get it." The boy hurried away and the girl looked back to me, "I'm Elizabeta."

"Hi, I'm Arthur." I looked down at my schedule. It had changed since yesterday. When I was home-schooled, it was the same lessons every day. Suddenly I thought to ask Elizabeta and Kiku. They probably would know where my next class was, "Do you guys know where room G14 is?" Kiku glanced at my schedule,

"Health, Tuesday, Thursday, in room G14."

"I think that's in the back building." Elizabeth thought aloud. Kiku looked at her strange but then nodded,

"Oh yeah, it's in the back building."

"We'll take you there." Elizabeth offered.

"Thanks." I smiled. I was finally starting to feel more comfortable at this school. The bell rang. Kiku and Elizabeth grabbed my hands and pulled me through the busy corridors,

"Watch out! New meat coming through!" Elizabeth yelled. The two took me outside by a huge field. Kiku had asked for my schedule,

"Health, Spanish…" He read aloud, "You're taking twelfth grade calculus?"

"I was home-schooled so I'm way ahead of everyone." I shrugged, "Besides I like math."

"Ew." Elizabeth commented.

"But that's because it's the same in every country." I added quickly.

"That's deep. That's very deep." Kiku wrote something down in a notebook before he and Elizabeth sat on the grass. I looked around,

"Where's the back building?" I asked.

"It burned down in 1987." Kiku replied. I froze. I had no idea where my next class was and I was positive these wankers either had no idea where it was or weren't going to tell me.

"Won't we get in trouble for skipping class?" I asked hoping they liked to follow the rules. Kiku looked up from his notebook,

"Why would we get you into trouble?"

"We're your friends." Elizabeth insisted. She then turned to Kiku, "Now hand over that new yaoi manga you've been bragging about."

Now I know it's wrong to skip class but Elizabeth said we were friends and I was in no position to pass up friends. I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of Health class…

"Why didn't you still get home-schooled?" Kiku asked.

"My tutor is back in England and my brother wanted me to get socialized." I was trying to see what Elizabeth was reading. It looked like a picture book to me. Elizabeth snorted,

"Oh, you'll get socialized all right. A little foreigner like you."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. I thought almost everyone was a foreigner here.

"You're a regulation hottie." Elizabeth commented.

"What?"

"Own it!" Kiku suddenly announced.

"How do you spell your name, Igirisu?" Elizabeth asked.

"Igirisu?" I frowned, "My name is Arthur."

"Oh, Kiku told me in Japanese that the word for England is Igirisu and since you're from there…" Elizabeth explained, "I'm going to call you Igirisu." She decided.

"In the name of all that is anime, will you look at Antonio Carriedo's gym clothes?" Kiku exclaimed.

"Of course all the Bad Touch Trio are in the same gym class." Elizabeth groaned.

"Who are the Bad Touch Trio?" I questioned.

"They're like teen royalty." Kiku explained.

"That one there." Elizabeth pointed to the brown haired guy from before, "That is Antonio Carriedo. He is one of the dumbest boys you will ever meet." Antonio went to kick the football but missed, "Kiku sat next to him in English class last year."

"He asked me how to spell tomato." Kiku made a weird face. I laughed but only because it was too sad.

"That one over there." Elizabeth pointed to a white haired guy who had bright red eyes, "That's Gilbert Beilschmidt." Gilbert suddenly got hit in the head with a football.

"He thinks he's totally awesome just because his dad started an empire." I looked over at Gilbert who was trying to regain himself. Antonio was asking if he was alright.

"Gilbert knows everybody's business. He knows everything about everyone." Elizabeth glared at him, "Next time he tries to butt into my business again, I'll have my frying pan ready." I scooted away from Elizabeth and her evil aura. I had no idea what she meant by her frying pan but it didn't sound good.

"And look whose coming." Kiku whispered.

"And evil takes a human form in Francis Bonnefoy." Elizabeth gestured to a boy who was being carried in the air to the field by four other boys, "Don't be fooled. He may seem like your typical selfish backstabbing jerk face but in reality, he is so much more than that." I watched as the boys put Francis on the ground. He gave one a red rose, which appeared out of nowhere, and blew the others a kiss.

"He's the king. The other two are just his little workers." Kiku explained.

"Francis Bonnefoy …how do I even begin to explain Francis Bonnefoy …" Elizabeth returned her eyes to her picture book. Kiku wrote something else down in his notebook. I continued to stare at the Bad Touch Trio. Why were these three boys the "teen royalty" of the school? I was going to find out…

Author's notes:

Thank you for reading the first chapter of Mean Boys.

This idea came to me at random and it fits perfect with all the characters.

The main pairing is USUK with hints of FRUS, Spamono, PruAus, and a few others.

I still feel bad that Spain had to be the dumb one but I couldn't see him being a gossiper ;)

I just had to put that part with Australia in. I moved to Canada from England and everyone thought I was from Australia. It's totally different accents! :)

Oh! And the guy who talked to Hungary was Romania. I only saw a picture of him so I only had a rough idea of what he looked like.

I hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" **

Chapter 2:

After secretly watching the Bad Touch Trio's gym class, it was time for our last class before lunch. Kiku, Elizabeth, and I were walking down the crowded corridor to our next classes.

"Francis always looks fierce and he always wins Spring Fling Queen." Kiku complained.

"Who cares?" Elizabeth retorted.

"Um how can he win Spring Fling Queen?" I asked, "He's a guy." I had to point out that small detail. Before Elizabeth could answer, Kiku continued,

"I care!" He turned to me, "Every year the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling." He explained, "And who so ever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen are automatically head of the student activities committee and since I am an active member of the student activities committee, I would say 'Yeah, I care.'." Kiku smiled, "Imagine me as head of the student activities committee…"

"I'm imagining some cosplay." Elizabeth grinned, "Kiku, you truly out fanboyed yourself." Kiku rolled his eyes but pulled an Ipad out of his backpack,

"Here," He handed it to me, "this map is going to be your guide to World Academy W." I looked down at the screen. It was a drawn map of World Academy W with all the rooms and fields labeled. It even said which toilets were okay to use, "Where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial because you got everybody there." Elizabeth tapped the Ipad so it zoomed in on the cafeteria. Each table had a label,

"You got your freshmen, Asians, Africans, Nordics, Baltics, the Soviet Union,the Americas, the allies, the axis powers, the islands, countries people have never heard of, nations that aren't considered nations, the greatest people you will ever meet which is us." Elizabeth pointed to the table labeled anime club, "And the worst," Elizabeth pointed to the Bad Touch Trio table, "beware the Bad Touch Trio." Kiku took his Ipad back and hooked it up to a portable printer. He gave me the printed copy of the map.

"You are really high tec." I commented.

"I've always got to be prepared." Kiku put his Ipad and printer back in his backpack, "Enjoy history." Elizabeth and Kiku left to go to their next class.

It was lunch time! My history teacher kept me longer so he could ask me everything about England. By the time he let me go, I was positive lunch had to be over. I headed over to the cafeteria. Today's lunch was burgers and chips. Yuck! I was not a fan of American grease food. Never the less, I filled my plate and looked for Kiku and Elizabeth. I realized that I had to walk past the Bad Touch Trio but I decided to walk quickly. I was just about at the edge of their table when another boy stopped me. He had a funny curl on his head and he wore glasses. On his face sat a… I didn't want to open my mouth in case I yelled mole!

"Excuse me," He grinned at me, "I must say your eyes are like 'Sonata in G-Major', absolutely beautiful."

"Huh?" Why was this guy telling me this?

"I'm a fermata, hold me." He tried again, this time he wiggled his eyebrows.

"A fer what? Wait what?" I was confused.

"We can make beautiful music together." He grinned.

"Is he bothering you?" Francis suddenly asked. I had forgotten the Bad Touch Trio we right beside me. Antonio was sitting on the left, Gilbert on the right, and Francis was in the middle. Francis didn't give me time to answer. He continued, "Roderichwhy are you such a _putain_?" Francis must have called Roderich a bad word in French because he screwed his face up,

"I was just being friendly." He insisted.

"Ha!" Gilbert laughed really loud but then whispered, "You were supposed to call me last night."

"Roderich," Roderich looked back to Francis, "You do not come to a party at my house with Gilbert and then scam on some poor innocent boy right in front of us three days later. He's not interested." Francis looked to me, "Do you want to have sex with him?" My face was a look of horror,

"What? No! No!" I would have waved my hands back and forth if I hadn't been holding a tray. What was with this school? Francis smiled,

"Good, so it's settled." Francis smirked at Roderich, "You can go remove your mole now." Francis wiggled his fingers in a wave, "Bye Roderich."

"_Arschloch_." Roderich muttered in German as he left. I couldn't believe that guy had just tried to "pick me up". I saw Kiku and Elizabeth a few tables ahead and I was just about to dash off when Francis spoke again,

"Wait!" I stopped, "Sit down." He gestured to the seat in front of him at their table. I looked to Kiku and Elizabeth who had saw me. They both looked confused of why I had stopped. I could have ignored Francis's invitation but that would have been rude and I knew my tutor would have scolded me for doing so. I felt myself sit down automatically. Francis smiled at me, "Why don't I know you?"

"I'm new," I explained, "I just moved here from England."

"What?" Francis suddenly blurted. I was a little taken back,

"I used to be home schooled." I went on to further explain.

"Wait what?" Did this guy seriously have no idea what I was talking about, I thought.

"I had a tutor at home…"

"No, no!" Francis interrupted, "I know what home school is. I'm not stupid." Could have fooled me, I thought, "So you've actually never been to a real school before?" The Frenchman asked. I shook my head, "Shut up. Shut up!" Francis exclaimed.

I frowned, "I didn't say anything."

"Home schooled…" Francis leaned back in his chair, "That's really interesting."

"Thanks…I guess." I murmured.

"But you're like really cute." Francis leaned on the table.

"Um thanks?" Right now I was wishing I had sat with Kiku and Elizabeth. Even they weren't as weird as Francis.

"_Mon dieu_! I love you're eyebrows. They're huge!" Francis pointed out. I blushed. If there isn't anything I hated more than my huge eyebrows, it was someone who pointed out that I had huge eyebrows.

"They're so fetch." Gilbert commented.

"What is fetch?" Francis demanded.

"Oh! It's like awesome slag from England." Gilbert looked to me. In truth, I'd never heard the word fetch being used at all…except for when I played with Mint Flying Bunny and a ball.

"So, if you're from England…" Antonio finally spoke, "Why don't you have crooked teeth?"

"Oh my God, Antonio." Gilbert threw a chip at him, "You can't just ask people about their teeth. So stereotypical." He shook his head.

"Could you give us some privacy for like one second?" Francis suddenly asked.

"Yeah sure." I got up to leave but Francis stopped me.

"You can stay." He then started to whisper something into Gilbert's ear. Gilbert grinned. I glanced over to Kiku and Elizabeth. They were mouthing, "What are you doing?" I shrugged. Even I had no idea what I was doing. Francis began to whisper into Antonio's ear. Antonio looked excited. When they had finished, all three of them leaned on the table.

"Okay, you should just know that we don't do this a lot so this is like a really huge deal." Francis explained.

"Um, okay." I was confused.

"We want to invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week." Gilbert announced. I had to reject them politely. Elizabeth had told me to beware the Bad Touch Trio."

"Oh uh, that's kind of you but…"

"Coolness." Francis interrupted, "So we'll see you tomorrow, l'Angleterre."

"On Wednesdays, we wear pink." Antonio piped up.

"But now we can't be called the Bad Touch Trio if there's four of us." Gilbert mentioned.

"Then we will become 'The Bad Touch Trio Plus One'." Francis announced.

"Asombroso!" Antonio cheered in Spanish, "What a great name!" I was stunned. What had I gotten myself into?

Author's notes:

Thanks for reading Mean Boys Chapter 2!

I am having so much fun writing this!

As you can see, this chapter has different languages in it. Yay!

Caution: Some translations are rude words!

Putain: Whore

Arschloch: Asshole

Mon dieu: My God

l'Angleterre: England

Asombroso: Amazing

I love how Kiku has technology!

A fermata is a note you hold longer. Those "music" pickup lines are lame! *Shakes head at Austria*

Plus there`s a Austin Powers reference...thought I`d point that out haha

Just to clarify: This fanfic will have yaoi in it. Not anything hardcore, cause my eyes would burn if I wrote that, but probably kissing and fluff. This fic won't be as graphic as Mean Girls! haha

I hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" **

Chapter 3:

"Oh my God!" Elizabeth burst out laughing. We were currently in the boy's bathroom and Elizabeth didn't seem to care, even though she got a dirty look from every boy in there, "Okay. You have to do it, okay? And you have to tell me all the horrible things that Francis said."

"Francis seems…nice." I mean he did offer to let me sit with him and his friends which apparently at this school, was a big deal. Elizabeth screwed up her face,

"Francis Bonnefoy isn't nice!" She yelled, "He's a dirty cheating player. He ruined my life."

"He's fabulous, but he's evil." Kiku exited a bathroom stall.

"Hey, Elizabeth!" A boy shouted, "This is the boy's bathroom. Get out you stupid girl!"

"Don't mess with me!" Elizabeth pulled a frying pan out of her backpack. The boy edged slowly towards the door before sprinting out of it.

"Why do you hate him?" I suddenly asked.

"I don't hate him." Elizabeth placed her pan back in its home, "I just think it's rude when people say I can't be in here because I'm not a boy." Well it is a boy's bathroom, I thought.

"No, not him. Francis." I clarified, "You seem to really hate him."

"Yes," Elizabeth answered simply. She saw my confused face so she asked, "What's your question?"

"My question is why?" Elizabeth went to answer but Kiku beat her to it,

"Francis-san started this rumor that Elizabeth-san was actually a…"

"Kiku!" Elizabeth swung her backpack at him, "Shall we not?" She turned to me, "Look, this isn't about hating him, okay? I just think it would be like a fun little experiment if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say."

"What do they even talk about?" I asked.

"Fashion from their countries." Elizabeth shrugged.

"World domination?" Kiku suggested. I couldn't do this. I was already in too deep.

"Will you just do it?" Elizabeth suddenly requested, "Please!" I sighed,

"Okay fine." I remembered that tomorrow was Wednesday and I would need to wear pink if I wanted to sit with the Bad Touch Trio, "Do you have anything pink?" I asked Elizabeth.

"No." Elizabeth looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yes!" Both Elizabeth and I looked at Kiku strange, "What?" He held his hands up defensively, "Only true men where pink."

"Sounds like you've been listening to what Francis says." Elizabeth's eye twitched.

"Only because he's so loud." Kiku quickly said. Elizabeth smiled and gave him a playful nudge just as the bell rang for eighth period.

"What do you have next?" Elizabeth asked as I adjusted my back onto my shoulder. I looked at my schedule,

"Calculus with Mr. Vargas."

"That should be interesting." Kiku commented, "Have fun, Arthur-san."

I was so happy to get to math class. I mean I'm good at math. My tutor told me I was and I understand it. Nothing in math class could mess me up. Even Mr. Vargas was a good teacher. Suddenly the guy in front of me turned around,

"Hey dude, do you have a pencil I could borrow?" I had been so concentrated on math that I didn't get a good look at the students around me. It was a good job I didn't though because now I knew I couldn't concentrate on math. This guy in front of me had sky blue eyes and blond hair which had the cutest cowlick ever. His smile was blinding. I cleared my throat,

"I see you didn't come prepared for class." Was I only being a jerk because I liked him? Gosh Arthur! What are you thinking? I'm not gay!

He scratched the back of his head, "Second day of classes but I'm still forgetting things." He smiled sheepishly. I tried to hid a blush,

"You can have my pencil…but make sure you give it back!" I warned. The guy smiled when I gave him the writing utensil,

"Thanks dude!" He turned back in his desk leaving me speechless.

"Arthur, what are your thoughts?" Feliciano asked me but I didn't hear him. I was staring into the back of the guy in front of me's head. His smile; he was just,

"So cute." I whispered without realizing. The whole class looked at me confused. I blushed and looked down at my paper, "I mean, um, an equals "n" plus 1 over four." Feliciano smiled,

"That's right!" He then went on to explain the rest of the lesson. I sank lower in my desk from embarrassment.

Class ended faster than I expected. I started to pack up my books when a certain pencil came into view. I looked up and saw the guy. I immediately cringed.

"Here's your pencil dude!" He handed it to me, "Thanks for letting me borrow it…hey, do you understand any of this?"

"A little." I lied as I hugged my books to my chest. I understood everything since I had already taken it last year.

"Cool…" He held out his hand, "I'm Alfred F. Jones." I shook his hand awkwardly,

"Arthur Kirkland."

"Awesome." He let go of my hand and put on his brown bomber jacket, "See ya later, Artie."

"Don't call me that!" I yelled after him. Alfred just laughed in reply. I packed my bag quickly. Alfred F. Jones, eh? I thought. I shook my head and walked home.

I walked up the steps to the house to see my brother eating one of his pastries on the porch. Mint Flying Bunny flew around him trying to get a bite.

"Hey!" He greeted when he saw me, "How was your second day?"

"Fine." I replied.

"Were people nice?" Mint Flying Bunny asked. I frowned,

"No." I wasn't lying. Francis may have been nice to me but not to that guy who tried to "pick me up". Then again, Francis mentioned my eyebrows…

"Oh," Iain put down his cake, "Make any friends?"

"Yeah." And I smiled so they knew it was true.

"Have some cake." Iain offered. I sat down and began to eat the cake. It was delicious! How was it possible that my brother could bake delicious cakes and pastries yet he couldn't cook a tasty, let alone edible, meal? Not that I was any better…

The next day, I wore Kiku's pink shirt just so I could sit with the Bad Touch Trio. I pinned my fringe back with a few bobby pins so I could see better.

In the cafeteria at lunch, I saw Kiku and Elizabeth give me a thumbs up. I nervously took my tray of food, which was spaghetti (Mr. Vargas' favorite), over to the Bad Touch Trio table. What was I so nervous about? They had invited me, hadn't they? I was wearing a pink shirt. As I approached the table, Gilbert and Antonio were animatedly talking. Antonio wore a pink shirt that had a collar at the top but was open so showed his chest a little. It looked like it had been originally white but then had gotten mixed in with reds. Gilbert was wearing just a pink t-shirt. Nothing too fancy.

"Ah _l'Anglettere_! You came!" Francis greeted me and gestured to the seat next to Antonio. Instead of all three sitting on one side, Francis and Gilbert sat on one side leaving Antonio and I to sit on the other. I sat down, not being able to not notice what Francis was wearing. I had guessed that him being the king meant he would have a more sophisticated outfit than the other two but I hadn't expected him to be wearing a white shirt and a pink waistcoat with a pink tie. I gulped and looked down at my food. Would they think it was rude if I started eating? As if he could read my mine, Antonio spoke up,

"Eat up! Gil's going to tell you the rules." Rules? What rules? I thought. Antonio twirled his fork around his spaghetti, "Mmm, lots of tomato sauce. Just the way I like it!"

"Okay rules for being a part of the Bad Touch Trio." Gilbert announced. He went through a bunch of rules. Most of which I couldn't remember. I hadn't started my spaghetti yet but occasionally I would stir my fork around. Francis kept staring at me and it was making me nervous, "And rule number one hundred and forty two: You can't wear a muscle shirt two days in a row because that's just not awesome and you can only pull your hair back with bobby pins once a week." Gilbert eyed my fringe, "So, I guess that means you chose today." Antonio swallowed a strand of spaghetti,

"You should totally get tomato designed bobby pins, _amigo_." Antonio smiled, "They'd look so cute on you." I blushed. Francis seemed to be looking at a wrapper but I saw him steal a sideways glance at me.

"Oh and we only wear jeans on Fridays." Gilbert added. I looked down at my own pants to remember I had worn my black dress trousers, "Now if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch." I squirmed in my seat. How was I going to remember all these rules?

"Not just you." Antonio reassured me, "any of us."

"Like if I was wearing jeans today, which I'm not because I'm too awesome, I'd have to sit with those anime freaks over there." Gilbert pointed to Kiku and Elizabeth's table. The two of them looked like they were having fun right now while I was stuck trying to remember these rules…or at least my name!

"Oh and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us because you know, you have to be considerate of the rest of the group." Gilbert addressed me. I nodded. I wasn't going to suggest anyone to sit with us though. I'm not that mean to force them through this torture! He continued, "I mean you won't buy a skateboard without asking your friends first if it was cool."

"I wouldn't?" I'd never skateboarded before so I won't know…

"Right." Gilbert grinned. He then looked serious, "It's the same with guys." He looked over to a table where Roderich was sitting, "You may think you like someone," He looked back at me disgusted, "But you could be wrong."

"One hundred and twenty calories and forty-eight calories of fat." Francis suddenly spoke. He was reading off a chocolate wrapper, "What percentage is that?" Antonio shrugged.

"Forty-eight into one twenty?" Gilbert looked like he was calculating it. I too thought it over.

"I'm only eating foods with less than thirty percent calories from fat." Francis explained.

"It's forty percent." I suddenly announced. The group looked at me strange, "Well, forty-eight over one twenty equals x over hundred…" They still looked confused, "and then you cross multiply and get the value of x." I explained.

"Wow _l'__ Angleterre_," Francis smiled, "You're really smart!" He stood up from the table, "I really want to eat you _barre chocolatée_ but you're just too fat for me." Francis left to find a healthier snack.

"So," Antonio smiled at me, "Have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?"

"Um, you know I'm not into, well that." Antonio looked at me confused, "Are all the guys in this school gay?" I had to ask. It had been bothering me.

"Have you seen many girls around?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow, "And then there are the girls like Elizabeth Héderváry." He rolled his eyes, "Besides there are some pretty awesome guys here but not as awesome as me."

"Well, there is this one guy I think is cute." I wasn't lying. After all, I had announced it to the whole class, "He's in my calculus class."

"Who is it?" Antonio got excited.

"It's a senior?" Gilbert smiled.

"His name is Alfred F. Jones." I smiled.

"No!" Gilbert yelled.

"Oh no!" Antonio shook his head.

"What?" I was taken aback.

"You can't like Alfred F. Jones." Gilbert shook his head, "That's Francis' ex-boyfriend."

"What?" I should have guessed it but who knows who that guy had dated. Elizabeth had called him a player.

"They went out for a year." Antonio looked glumly into his food.

"And then he was devastated when he broke up with him last summer." Gilbert elucidated. Antonio looked up from his food,

"I thought Francis dumped him for his twin brother, Mathieu Williams." Alfred had a brother? I thought. I also thought that was pretty shallow of Francis to dump Alfred for his twin.

"Whatever! Same thing." Gilbert looked to me, "Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends. I mean that's like the rules of life and love." More rules? I thought.

"Don't worry, we won't tell Francis." Antonio reassured me.

"It'll be our little secret." Gilbert winked. I smiled weakly and started to eat my cold lunch.

Author's notes:

Yay! Chapter 3! This one's a long one.

We finally met Alfred! And Gil had some rules, Francis said goodbye to his chocolate bar, Antonio was cute, Arthur was confused, Iain and Mint Flying Bunny have cake, and Elizabeth wouldn't get out of the boy's bathroom! What a great chapter!

You may have noticed I'm using British words. Only because it's from Arthur's point of view.

Fringe: bangs (hair)

I should probably point out that Iain is Scotland. I was going to call him Scottie or Angus but I read somewhere that his official/unofficial name was Iain…

If you've seen Mean Girls, you know they go to a Halloween Party. I want your guy's ideas on what The Bad Trio and America's costumes should be! I've already got England's but suggestions are open.

You may have noticed I'm a fan of PrussiaxAustria (I read a really good doujinshi!). Usually I'm more of a PrussiaxCanada but France got to him first ;)

Ps. those math equations drove me crazy!

I hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" **

Chapter 4:

When I sat in calculus in eighth, I couldn't pay attention. I was staring into the back of Alfred's head. Today he asked someone beside him for a pencil which disappointed me. If he'd have asked me, I would have let him have one. I wouldn't say I actually thought he'd forget one so I brought him a spare. Even though I wasn't allowed to like Alfred, I was still allowed to look at him and think about him…and talk to him? The bell rang and everyone started to flee the class.

"Hey Al-"

"Hey you're the British guy right?" The guy with the funny hat who had bothered Elizabeth on the first day suddenly stepped in front of me, blocking my way to Alfred who was looking around to see who called his name.

"Yeah." I answered, angry that this guy had popped up and ruined my chance to talk to Alfred.

"My name is Romania."

"Is that you're nickname?" I asked bluntly, as I was in no mood to talk to this guy, "Because that can't be you're real name." Romania grinned,

"If I told you my real name, a terrible curse would be thrust upon you." I tried not to gulp. Romania laughed, "Or you wouldn't know how to pronounce it."

"I see." I murmured.

"Now the reason I approached you is I'm president of the Black Magic Club." My mouth went dry. Did he say what I think he said? Romania continued, "We participate in many magic challenges across the country against other high schools and we can get twice as much fun if we had someone like you in it."

"Someone like me?"

"Someone who comes from the country of dark magic, so you should think about joining."

"You'd be perfect for it!" Feliciano joined in, "You just moved here and joining a club will help you make friends…even if it is for black magic." Feliciano smiled weakly. At this very moment, someone was offering me to join a club for my secret desire! When I was tutored in England, my tutor slightly covered black magic but I continued to research it. I became obsessed and I even learned a few tricks.

"I'll think about it." I said nonchalantly. I didn't want to sound too desperate.

"Here," Romania handed me a slip of paper, "give me a call." I looked down at the card to see it was Romania's business card. It said: Romania, President of the Black Magic Club and Vampire. Below it was his number, "Think it over," He smiled, "cause we'd like to get jackets." Romania left me and Feliciano.

"Is he really a vampire?" I asked Feliciano. Feliciano went to answer when the principal appeared.

"Feliciano, you ready to go?" He saw me then cringed.

"Ludwig!" Feliciano attached himself to Ludwig's arm. He looked at me, "Me and Ludwig (Ludwig and I, I mentally corrected) are going out for supper." Ludwig pushed him off,

"Don't announce it to the world!" I quickly left the class. Nothing was more awkward than watching your teacher and the principal argue about their relationship.

I packed my bag with homework and books from my locker before running out of the doors. When Francis had returned to the table, thankfully after our Alfred talk, he announced that we were all going over his house after school. Since Romania had held me up and the awkward teacher relationship had blocked me from the door too, I was running late. Francis hadn't said where to meet him so I walked out by the field. I saw the football team practicing and I saw the blonde quarterback with the cowlick running over to me. Oh crap! I thought. What if Francis saw us talking?

"Artie!" Alfred approached me with a grin on his face.

"W-what do you want?" I stuttered because I was afraid Francis would jump out of nowhere like from behind those bushes or from that tree.

"Did you come to watch me practice?"

"What? No!" I blushed and hoped he didn't see.

"Oi! Jones! Get back and play!" The coach yelled.

"See ya later, Artie!" Alfred ran off back to the team, waving behind him.

"Don't call me that!" I yelled after him, clutching my books to my chest. Suddenly I heard a car horn. I turned around to see the Bad Touch Trio in a really expensive car. Francis was driving of course.

"Get in l'Angleterre!" He called, "We're going shopping!" I nodded but not before I took a quick look at Alfred who had resumed practice. I got in the back with Antonio but not before Gilbert glared at me. Had he seen me talking to Alfred? Francis drove quite fast and with no roof and the wind rushing through your ears, it made it hard to hear but Antonio kept trying to speak to me.

"So how do you like World Academy W?" He yelled over the wind.

"It's good!" I answered.

"What?"

"I said it's good!" Suddenly the car stopped.

"We're here." Francis announced.

I'd never been to, as the Americans called it, a mall before. I had never been to many teen hang outs due to my intense tutoring. This mall was huge! I recognized a few students from school.

"So, Arthur," Gilbert finally spoke to me, "Have you decided to join any clubs or sports?"

"Actually, I was thinking of joining the Black Magic Club." I answered truthfully.

"No. No." Francis shook his head, "You cannot do that. That's social suicide." Francis shook his head, "Mon dieu, you are so lucky you have us to guide you." Antonio and Gilbert nodded their heads.

"Igirisu!" I heard my nickname. Glancing to the side, I saw Elizabeth waving behind the counter of a book store. Kiku had his head in a book but he was waving none the less. I secretly waved back before we passed the store and I saw a giant fountain. Lots of people sat beside it and even a few were tossing lucky pennies into it. The guy who cleans the fountain must be rich!

"L'Angleterre. Let's get our picture taken in front of the fountain." Francis grabbed my arm and pulled me close. He threw his camera at Gilbert who caught it. I smiled for the picture. Even though they weren't what I expected, the Bad Touch trio weren't that bad. Gilbert took the picture and looked past us,

"Mein gott! There's Roderich!" Gilbert gasped.

"Where?" Antonio looked around, "Oh there he is." He pointed to the fountain. I saw Roderich sitting with another guy.

"And he's with Vash Zwingli." Gilbert frowned.

"I heard they're going out." Antonio patted Gilberts back comfortingly.

"Wait!" Francis suddenly said, "Roderich isn't going out with Vash." We all looked at him, "No. He cannot blow you off like that. He's such a little putain." He held his hand out to Gilbert, "Give me your phone."

Gilbert pulled it out his pant pocket, "You're not going to call him, right?"

Francis took the phone, "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No." Gilbert murmured.

Francis dialed a number. I heard a small girl say hello.

"Did you block the number?" Gilbert hissed. Francis put a finger to his lips then proceeded to talk,

"Hello, is Vash Zwingli there?"

"Bruder is out right now. Who's calling?"

"This is Keith from Aids Can Be Cured. I have Vash's test results in and if you could have him give me a call as soon as he can. It's urgent. Merci." Francis was just about to hang up the phone when it sounded like the girl had just fainted. Gilbert started to laugh and Antonio just smiled. Francis snapped shut the phone, "He's not going out with anyone."

"Okay, that was so fetch!" Gilbert said between laughs. Francis looked quite happy with himself. Antonio looked for my reaction so I smiled. Francis started to walk away so Antonio and Gilbert began to follow. I was just about to walk away when I heard a cell phone ring. Vash stood up and answered his phone,

"Lili? Sis, what's wrong?" I frowned and ran off to join the group.

After buying a lot of expensive and in style clothes, Francis paid, we headed over to Francis' house. His house was huge! Almost as big as the mall. We got out of the car, my mouth gaping,

"Wow! Your house is really nice."

"I know right?" Francis smiled and walked up the steps to the door. Gilbert followed him.

"Make she you check out his mom's boob job." Antonio whispered to me, "They're hard as rocks!" I shot him a weird look as we joined the other two. Inside, Francis' house was as amazing as outside. It looked like a palace!

"I home!" Francis called, "Hey, Sesel." A little girl who was dancing in front of the TV turned her head and smiled,

"Hey!" Then she continued to dance.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" A woman holding a cat came around the corner, "How are my boys?"

"Hey Bella." Antonio greeted, "This is Arthur." Bella looked at me and smiled. She put down her cat.

"Hi…"

"Welcome to our home." Bella held out her arms and I had to think of something else so I didn't look at her chest. She gave me a big hug and I knew Antonio was right. Her boobs were as hard as rocks!

"Ow." I whispered, hoping no one heard. She pulled away and smiled,

"I just want you to know that if you need anything don't be shy, okay? There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom." She flicked her hair, "Right Francis?"

"Mère, arrêtes de parler." Francis muttered in French.

"Okay!" Bella smiled, "I'm going to make you boys a hump day treat." She turned around to go the kitchen.

"Hump day?" I asked puzzled.

"It's Wednesday." Gilbert explained.

"It is the hump of the week." Antonio smiled, "Meaning we're in the middle and soon it will be the weekend." I had never heard such a suggestive expression before to describe Wednesday. We walked past Sesel, who was still dancing in front of the TV, up the stairs to Francis' room. His room was like a royal suite at Buckingham Palace! But I guess that was expected due to the size of his house.

"This is your room?" I asked, looking at the painted ceiling and the four poster bed.

"It was my parent's room," Francis jumped on his bed then pulled back the curtains so only his face was showing, "but I made them trade me." I looked over at a notice board Francis had which was filed of pictures. Most of them were of him and the Bad Touch Trio and some were of his family but there was one that bothered me the most. A picture of him and Alfred. Maybe when they were all out of the room, I'd steal it and dispose of it. Francis wouldn't notice. I cringed. What was I thinking?

"Put some jams on." Gilbert instructed. Antonio pressed play on an IPod which was on a docking station. A rock band song began to play.

Francis noticed me looking at the notice board, "Arthur, do you even know who sings this?" I listened to the music. I had no idea so I guessed,

"Sex pistols?" I guessed. Francis laughed,

"That's why I love you, l'Angleterre." He smiled and I laughed nervously.

"Hey guys!" Bella came walking in with fruity looking drinks on a tray, "Happy hour is from four to six!" She handed me one,

"Thanks. Um does this have alcohol in this?" Alcohol and I never mixed well. We were a bad combination. Bella looked offended,

"Oh god honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am?" She then whispered, "But I have some kriek downstairs if you want to share it with me."

"No thank you." I said quickly. Bella sat down on the couch. Yeah I forgot to mention that Francis had a whole living room set in his room. I didn't see a big TV but I bet it was hiding.

"So guys, what's the 411?" Bella picked the cat up and hugged it close. I tasted my drink only to taste alcohol. I would just hold onto it until I could dispose of it quietly. Maybe throw it off the balcony?

"What have you been up to?" Bella continued, "Anything happening? Tell me everything!" Bella doesn't seem to notice that the cat was gnawing and clawing at her boobs.

"Maman!" Francis shooed her away, "We're hungry. Cook us some Belgium waffles s'il vous plaît."

"Okay! I'll cook them right away!" Bella waved and left the room. Francis closed the door behind her. There was a sort of awkward silence before Gilbert spoke,

"You still have this?" He was holding a blue book.

"I haven't looked at that in forever!" Francis took a sip of his drink.

"Here Arthur, come have a look at this." Gilbert waved me over.

"It's our burn book." Antonio explained, "We cut out people's pictures from the year book and then we wrote comments." Gilbert opened the book to show a picture of a Chinese boy.

"Yao Wang is an oriental rice eater who loves to cuddle his collection of Hello Kitty's in bed." Antonio read.

"Still true." Francis commented. Gilbert turned the page to show a picture of that girl I had met on the first day who happened to not be a girl,

"Feliks Łukasiewicz is a slutty girl." Antonio read.

"Still half true." Gilbert laughed at Francis' comment and turned the page to show a picture of a boy with a sunflower,

"Ivan Braginski. He made out with his sisters." There were also pictures of two girls that looked like Ivan on the page as well. Gilbert turned the page and I saw it was a picture of Elizabeth and Kiku in costumes.

"Elizabeth Héderváry. Man beast." Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that that guy Kiku?" Antonio pointed to Kiku who was in the picture.

"Yeah, he's the world's biggest otaku. Completely obsessed." I added.

"Ha!" Francis laughed, "I like that! Write it down. L'Angleterre, you're turning into one of us." Oh no! I thought, maybe that was only okay when Elizabeth said it.

"I have to get home." I announced placing my drink on the coffee table.

"So soon?" Antonio pouted.

"My brother's cooking supper," I lied. As soon as I left, with four shopping bags in hand, I went back to the mall. To talk to Elizabeth.

Author's Notes:

Wow! This is a really long chapter!

I hated writing the burn book stuff. I didn't even know what to say! And I didn't want to offend people which I guess defeats the whole point of the burn book haha

I didn't think Arthur suited a Math club so I invented the Black Magic club like Ouran High School Host Club. Romania doesn't actually have an official name yet so he's known in this story simply as Romania.

Poor Liechtenstein getting a phone call like that! Aids Can Be Cured? I really couldn't think of a better name…

France's family: Belgium is his mum and Seychelles is his little sister.

Mère, arrêtes de parler means mother, stop talking and s'il vous plaît means if you please.

The first time I heard the saying "hump day" was in gym class! My teacher was like today is hump day and I thought oh god! What are we doing in gym? Haha

Kreik is a fruity beer from Belgium and I didn't want to be stereotypical with the Belgium waffle thing…

I hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3


	5. Omake

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" **

As requested by MatsuuraAkane on Fanfiction, I give you the First Day of Health Class scene which was not in the original story. Note: Elizabeth and Kiku are in the class even though they didn't attend in the story. This is an omake so it's pretty crazy!

Omake:

_I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day in Health class:_

"Don't have sex!" Ludwig barked, "Because you will get pregnant and die! Yes?" He pointed to Yao,

"Um sir, we're boys, aru. We can't get pregnant."

"M-preg is possible!" Elizabeth shouted.

"What? It is?" Feliks squealed, "Liet! I want your babies!" Toris sank down in to the bleachers.

"Quiet down!" Ludwig yelled, "I have to tell you that if you have sex you'll die!"

"Then how were we born?" Kiku asked.

"Yeah, Ludwig, how are babies made?" Feliciano asked.

"What are you doing in this class?" Ludwig pointed at the math teacher.

"I wanted to see you teach." Feliciano protested. Ludwig sighed,

"Just remember kids, don't have sex. Okay? Promise?" Ludwig pulled out a box, "Now, everyone take some rubbers."

"Yay condoms!" Everyone yelled. Feliciano patted Ludwig on the back,

"Was it really a smart idea to give teenagers condoms?"

Author's Notes:

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever written!

Hope you enjoyed and I'll get started on chapter 5 of Mean Boys!


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" **

Chapter 5:

"And they have this book, this burn book!" I spilled to Elizabeth at the counter. Elizabeth worked at Chapters, a book store, "And they write mean things about everyone in our school!"

"What does it say about me?" Elizabeth asked curious. I gulped thinking of the word that was used to describe Elizabeth,

"You weren't in it." I lied.

"Those bastards." Elizabeth growled.

"Elizabeth, is the new Hetalia Axis Powers volume out yet?" Kiku appeared from behind a book shelf.

"No, Kiku, if it's not there you just have to wait for it like the rest of us." She turned to me, "Igirisu, you have to steal that book." A customer walked by with a horrified look on their face, "Not a book from this store!" Elizabeth yelled after them.

"No way!" I didn't even want to go back to Francis' house…and what if I got caught trying to steal it?

"Come on! We could publish it and then everyone would see what a frog he really is!"

"I don't steal!" I protested. Elizabeth groaned,

"Igirisu, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil things and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it."

"Does that mean I'm obligated to…oh my God, that's Mr. Vargas and he's here with the principal." I saw my math teacher holding the principal's hand. My math teacher was pulling him over to us.

"I love seeing teachers outside of school!" Elizabeth squealed, "It's like seeing a tsundere confessing their love for someone. It just never happens." As usual, I had no idea what Elizabeth was talking about. Feliciano approached the counter,

"Hey guys!" He smiled at Elizabeth, "I didn't know you worked here."

"Yeah, paperbacks and hardbacks are my calling." Elizabeth shrugged.

"Shopping?" Kiku asked.

"Yes!" Feliciano hugged Ludwig's arm. Ludwig had been trying to escape to avoid questions, "I'm just buying ingredients to make a German supper for Ludwig." Feliciano placed the book on the counter. The title read: When Your German Boyfriend Won't Tell You His Favourite Foods-Recipes and More!

"Sounds romantic." I commented.

"Ve! ~" Feliciano grinned. Ludwig sighed. Feliciano turned to me, "Arthur, I hope you join The Black Magic Club." He said. Elizabeth and Kiku exchanged looks, "You'll have so much fun and you'll make new friends."

"I think I'm going to do it." I said proudly.

"Great!"

"You can't join The Black Magic Club!" Kiku suddenly said, "Its social suicide!"

"Thanks Kiku." Feliciano sighed.

"Well," Ludwig finally spoke, "This has been sufficiently awkward. See you guys tomorrow."

Ludwig started to drag Feliciano out of the store.

"But I haven't bought the book yet!" Feliciano cried.

"I'll tell you what I like. I like wurst okay?"

"Well that was bleak." Elizabeth shook her head before she addressed me again, "So, when are you going to see Francis again?"

"I can't spy on him anymore." I announced, "It's weird."

"Come on! He's never going to find out. It's just going to be our little secret." Elizabeth strangely sounded like Gilbert.

I walked home with my shopping to find Iain was out. Probably still at the bakery. Mint Flying Bunny must have been with him too. I just got in the house when the phone started to ring.

"I got it!" I yelled to no one in particular. I tripped over my shopping to get to the phone, "Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"I know your secret, l'Angleterre."

"Francis?" How did Francis find out? More importantly how did he know my phone number? What was I supposed to do? Start apologizing? No, I should play it cool, "Secret? What are you talking about?"

"Gilbert told me you like Alfred F. Jones." Oh, he means that secret. I had a silent sigh of relief. Francis continued, "I mean I don't care. Do what you want…but, let me just tell you something about Alfred. All he cares about is school, and his mum, and his friends." Alfred was a momma's boy?

"Is that bad?" I said aloud.

"But if you like him, whatever, I mean, I can talk to him if you want. After all I am the person of love. Cupid I guess you could say."

"Really, you'd do that? I mean I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind him and I being friends." I quickly said.

"I know you want more, l'Angleterre." Francis whispered which I'm glad he did. I didn't want the whole world knowing.

"Nothing embarrassing though right?" I was blushing through the phone.

"Oh no! Trust me. I know exactly how to play it." I sensed Francis was smiling.

"Well, if that's everything…" I wanted to end the call. I was still shaking up from the thought that I'd been caught.

"Wait!" Francis stopped me from pressing the end button, "Aren't you so mad at Gilbert for telling me?"

"No." I answered truthfully because if he hadn't I might not have got a chance with Alfred. Ahem…

"Because if you are you can tell me." Francis persuaded, "It was a really _rosse_ thing for him to do."

"Yeah it was pretty _rosse_…" Was that how he pronounced it? I wondered what it meant. Hopefully nothing bad, "thing for him to do but I guess he just likes the attention."

"See Gilbert? L'Angleterre's not mad at you." Francis suddenly said.

"I can't believe you think I like attention!" I heard Gilbert's voice on another line.

"Jaime! See you tomorrow!" Francis blew a kiss in the phone and then the line went dead. I had survived my first three way calling attack. With Francis' blessing, I would start talking to Alfred more and more.

On October third, he asked me what day it was,

"It's October third." I told him, "Don't you check the calendar?"

Two weeks later, we spoke again,

"It's raining." Alfred pointed out as rain hit the classroom window.

"Yeah." I murmured.

But I wanted things to move faster! So I followed my instincts one day during an overhead presentation. I poked Alfred in the shoulder. He turned and grinned causing me to blush,

"Hey um…" I whispered, "I'm completely lost. Can you help me?" But I wasn't lost. I knew exactly what Feliciano was talking about in between his Ve's. Alfred grinned,

"It's a factorial." He explained as he pointed to my paper with a pencil he had borrowed from someone else much to my disgust, "You multiply each one by n." Wrong. I thought. Good job I actually knew how to do this.

"Is that the summation?" I asked innocently. Alfred looked confused by my choice of words,

"Yeah, that's the same thing." Wrong! He was so wrong! Was he even passing this class?

"Thanks…I uh…think I got it." I assured him with a half-smile, "I get it now." He grinned back at me before turning back in his desk. The bell rang just as Feliciano finished the presentation. I started packing up my bag when I noticed Alfred had turned around again.

"We're having a Halloween party at my brother Mathews tonight and I think it would be totally awesome if you were there. Wanna come?"

"Sure." I shrugged so I didn't jump out of my seat to hug him.

"Great! It says where to go on the invitation." Alfred handed me an invitation, "It's a costume party so you have to dress up."

"Okay." I looked down at the orange invite.

"The invitation admits one person only so…" Alfred looked away, "Don't bring some other guy with you."

"Brilliant!" I smiled and then blushed.

"Brilliant." Alfred copied me, "I'll see you tonight then, Artie." Alfred left the classroom leaving me ecstatic.

"Hey England." Romania came over, "You staying for The Black Magic club meeting? I want you to meet Norway and start a Halloween celebration of our own."

"Uh yeah, I'll be right back." I dashed out of the room not listening to Romania shout directions to the meeting room behind me. Okay, I lied. I had to go home and work on my costume. In the real world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In the teenage world, it was the one night a year you could dress up in a sexy costume and no one could tell you that the skirt was too short or you needed a shirt.

Gilbert and Antonio showed up at Francis's house in their costumes. Francis opened the door. He wore a sexy red pirate outfit with black boots and a feather in his hat. He had put his hair up in a ponytail. His face fell when he saw his friends.

"What are you?"

"I'm a tomato!" Antonio poked his fat red costume. He even had a green hat that looked like leaves.

"Duh! And I'm Gilbird!" Gilbert was wearing what looked like a fat yellow chicken suit. The two were very round. Francis sighed and grabbed his two friends by the collars and forced them into the house,

"Let's put on your real costumes shall we? The one's we agreed on."

I found Mathieu's house fast due to all the loud music and people outside. I knocked on the door but no one answered. Someone came up behind me and just opened the door. I looked around before going in. There was so many people here I didn't know. Elizabeth and Kiku hadn't been invited but they told me they were going to stay at Kiku's and watch scary animes all night. I found Gilbert and Antonio standing by the fireplace.

"Hey!" I approached them and scared Antonio.

"That is so not cool." Gilbert pointed at my outfit.

"Why are you wearing that?" Antonio asked. I looked down at my costume. I couldn't find any other costume except the wizard outfit I wore to the last Harry Potter movie.

"It's Halloween." I clarified, "You're wearing a costume too." Antonio and Gilbert were wearing a pirate ship crew's outfit that showed way to much skin. I felt like saying they should just take off their shirts. Antonio wore a bandana.

"Have you seen Roderich?" Gilbert asked. I shook my head as I had just gotten there. Gilbert sighed.

"You know who's looking fine tonight?" Antonio smiled, "Lovino Vargas."

"Okay, you did not just say that." Gilbert looked sick.

"What? He's a good kisser!" Antonio protested.

"He's your cousin." Gilbert pointed out.

"Yeah but he's my first cousin." Antonio corrected.

"Right." Gilbert knew he was right.

"So you have your cousins, then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…"

"No, dude, no."

"That's not right is it?" Antonio sighed.

"That is so not right." I agreed, "I'm going to go find Alfred since he invited me." Gilbert stiffened.

"He's wearing the cowboy costume I believe." Antonio pointed out.

"Thanks." I approached the cowboy only to realize it wasn't Alfred but someone who resembled him physically.

"I'm Alfred's brother, Mathieu." He explained.

"Oh, you set up this party."

"Thanks for coming. Alfred's the guy in the Superman costume." Mathieu pointed out. So, I wear a Harry Potter outfit, which is very popular right now, and I'm not as cool looking as the guy wearing the tights?

"Hey! You made it." Alfred greeted me, "And you are? Ron Weasly?"

"I'm Harry Potter without the scar and the glasses."

"So, you're just a wizard? Love it." Alfred smiled, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes please."

"Be right back." He promised. Alfred walked away but just to the buffet table which wasn't far away. I looked over to Antonio and Gilbert to see Antonio waving at someone.

"Antonio?" Gilbert frowned, "Stop it! Don't…"

"Hey! Lovi!" Antonio ran off to his "cousin". I looked back to see Alfred filling cups with punch. I saw Francis closing in on him in his pirate outfit. Francis winked at me and I guessed he was going to talk to Alfred for me.

"Hey." He smiled at Alfred.

"Oh no! Didn't anyone tell you? You were supposed to wear a costume." Alfred joked. Francis poked him,

"Arrêtes de parler." He whispered, "I need to talk to you. You know that boy Arthur."

"Yeah! He's cool! I invited him tonight."

"Well, be careful l'Amerique because he has a huge crush on you."

"Really?" Alfred looked over at me. I quickly looked away, "How do you know?"

"Because he told me!" Francis spilled, "He tells everybody. It's kind of cute actually." He smiled, "He's like a little girl. He wrote all over his notebook: Mrs. Alfred F. Jones and he made this t-shirt that says I heart Alfred and he wears it under his clothes."

"Oh come on." Alfred didn't look impressed.

"Well, who can blame him? You're gorgeous." Francis raised his eyebrows, "And okay look, I'm not saying he's a stalker but he saved this tissue you used and he said he's going to use some sort of black magic to make you fall in love with him. Did you know he joined the Black Magic club?"

"What?" Alfred looked worried but more confused. He and Francis looked to me again. I couldn't hear what they were saying over the music.

"I know he's kind of socially weird but he's my friend so…" Francis looked up at Alfred, "just promise me you won't make fun of him."

"Course I'm not going to make fun of him." Alfred smiled.

How could Elizabeth hate Francis? I thought, He was such a good…

Suddenly Francis kissed Alfred.

Frog!

I did what I thought was best to do. I ran out of the house.

Alfred pushed Francis away,

"What are you doing? You broke up with me." Alfred stated.

"That's crazy, l'Amerique." Francis rolled his eyes, "Why would I break up with you? You're so hot!" Francis began to kiss Alfred again.

I ran into Mathieu on the way out.

"Where you going?" He asked, "The party just started."

"Alfred, Francis, whatever your name is, I have to go." I quickly left before I burst into tears. There was only one place I could go where someone would know what to do.

Author's Notes:

Poor Arthur! That FrUS scene was really hard to write believe it or not. It's just not right (sorry FrUS or USFr fans) It should be either USUK or FRUK or FRUKUS ;)

I agree with Kiku. When's the next Hetalia volume coming out? Haha

I imagine Arthur to be wearing stripy orange and black tights with his outfit…I don't know why

This must be one of my longest chapters!

Hope you enjoyed and reviews are love! 3


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls" 

Recap of last chapter:

_How could Elizabeth hate Francis? I thought, He was such a good…_

_Suddenly Francis kissed Alfred._

_Frog! _

_I did what I thought was best to do. I ran out of the house._

Chapter 6:

I had never felt this feeling before. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt! I had this lump in my throat like when you dry swallow a big pill. I hated Francis! I hated him! I had to tell someone!

"This is so scary!" Elizabeth was at Kiku's house and they were watching scary animes. They were in the shed which had been redesigned as an anime fan's shelter. Kiku always hid in the shed when he had family reunions with his cousins from Asia.

"It's not that scary." Kiku rolled his eyes and popped a piece of buttery popcorn in his mouth. He had seen worse.

"Don't open that door!" Elizabeth screamed at the T.V., "Are you crazy? The crazed sorcerer is going to get you!" The anime was about a sorcerer who went around killing people.

"Elizabeth-san, it's just an anime." Kiku assured her. All of a sudden, the door opened to reveal a boy wearing a wizard outfit.

"It's the sorcerer!" Kiku and Elizabeth screamed, the popcorn flying everywhere. Elizabeth grabbed her frying pan which was hidden in the crack of the couch. I walked in surprised. Tears were rolling down my face.

"Arthur-san?" Kiku breathed a breath of relief.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go." I sniffed.

"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked, placing the empty popcorn bowl on the coffee table.

"He took him back. Francis took Alfred back." I confessed.

"Oh no, Igirisu." Elizabeth stood up from the couch and hugged me.

"Why would he do that?" I demanded.

"Because he's a life-ruiner." Elizabeth clarified, "He ruins people's lives."

"When we were thirteen," Kiku piped up, "He made people sign this petition saying that Elizabeth was a m-"

"Kiku! Please!" Elizabeth yelled, whacking him over the head with her weapon. She turned to me, "Look, he's not going to get away with this again, okay? We're going to do something." She said determined.

"We are?" I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. Elizabeth grabbed my hand and sat me on the couch while she went to grab something. I watched Kiku crawl to my side, "Oh God! You're bleeding!" I gasped. Kiku looked confused,

"No, I just landed on a ketchup packet." He showed me the wrapper.

"Oh…" I was too distressed to even wonder why he had random packets of ketchup in his shed. Elizabeth returned with a Hello Kitty chalk board. I looked at Kiku skeptical.

"It's my cousin, Yao's." He quickly said, "He's got my Domo chalk board at the moment." Elizabeth was quickly writing down a few things on the chalk board. She turned and started to talk,

"Francis Bonnefoy is an evil dictator…and how do you overthrow a dictator?" Elizabeth wasn't waiting for an answer, "You cut off his resources. Francis would be nothing without his high status man candy." Elizabeth pointed to her first bullet on the chalkboard which said Alfred F. Jones, "Technically good physique," She pointed to the second bullet: "hot" body, "and ignorant band of loyal followers." She pointed to the last bullet which said army of man-whores. She turned to me, "Now, Igirisu, if you want this to work, you are going to have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. Can you do it?"

I thought about it. After what Francis did to me, I really wanted to get back at him. I came from the country of Shakespeare. I was positive I could act.

"I can do it." I nodded. Elizabeth smiled.

"Okay! Let's rock this ass hole!" Elizabeth fist pumped the air, "Right after we finish this anime."

"But Elizabeth-san, you'll get scared again." Kiku protested. Elizabeth sat in-between us,

"It's Halloween! We're supposed to get scared." She grabbed the remote. Elizabeth and I didn't sleep that night.

On Monday, pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. Gilbert approached me in the hall,

"Francis wanted me to tell you that he was trying to hook you up with Alfred but Alfred was just interested in getting him back and that's not Francis' fault."

"Oh, I know." I faked a smile.

"Okay, so you're not mad at Francis?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

"God no." I shook my head. Gilbert smirked,

"Okay good. Francis wanted me to give you this." Gilbert hugged me. He patted my back a few times. I awkwardly patted his back as well. He waved goodbye and I walked to class thinking this going to be easier than I thought. I walked past a group of people who started to snigger. I turned around and they stopped. I didn't know much about the Baltics. I continued to walk down the hallway, the sniggering getting louder.

"Hey England!" Romania approached me with a concerned look on his face. I suddenly remembered that I had not gone to the Black Magic meeting because I was looking for a Halloween costume.

"Sorry I…" I started but Romania pulled a paper off my back.

"Why are you walking around with this on your back?" He asked. I looked down to see the paper said: I'm a nancy boy who likes to drink tea and eat petrified couch stuffing which are called scones. Cherrio! I screwed up the paper,

"That frog!" I stormed off to history, the class before lunch, without even explaining anything to Romania.

I saw that Alfred was sitting with Francis at the Bad Trio table. I held my head high and strutted to the table. Nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong. I repeated in my head.

"It's called the south beach fat flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for seventy two hours." Francis sipped his juice through a straw. Alfred was looking at the bottle, confused,

"This isn't even cranberry juice. It's cranberry cocktail. It's all sugar."

"I want to lose three pounds." Francis saw me approaching with Gilbert following.

"You're crazy!" Alfred shook his head.

"Why do you wear glasses?" Francis asked Alfred when I approached the table, "You look so sexy without them." He took his glasses off. Francis looked at me at smiled, "L'Angleterre, please tell l'Amerique he looks sexy without his glasses." I clenched my hands around my tray. Francis was dangling Alfred in front of me on purpose. I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. A fight to the death! But this was the real world,

"You look sexy without your glasses." I admitted. Alfred blinked. I wasn't sure he could even see without them. In the real world, all the fighting had to be sneaky. Alfred left the table to grab another burger.

"Ah," Francis sighed, "Love is in the air but I wish there was more, you know." He winked. A sudden idea popped into my head,

"I'll be right back." I ran to the Black Magic clubroom to grab a few ingredients and then to Home Ec lab. I made a batch of cupcakes without blowing up the classroom. I placed a love potion in one of the cupcakes. Whoever ate the cupcake, the next person they looked at would fall in love. Of course, it only lasted a week but that was long enough for Alfred to really fall in love with me and dump frog face. I returned to the table with my rushed goodies. Alfred had returned but Antonio was nowhere to be seen.

"What is that?" Gilbert pointed at the cupcakes.

"You made cupcakes?" Alfred smiled, "Dude, that's awesome!"

"I bet they taste…delicious." Francis faked a smile. I smiled. Inside I was laughing evilly. I was about to hand Alfred the "special" cupcake when a hand grabbed it,

"Oh! This looks great Arthur!" Antonio took a huge bite out of it. I quickly looked away. I didn't want a love sick Antonio following me around for a weak. Suddenly Antonio heard a familiar voice. He looked over to a familiar Italian,

"Lovi! I'm in love with you!" Antonio tackled a boy a few tables over from us.

"Antonio? What the f-" He was interrupted when Antonio kissed him.

"Aw!" Francis cooed, "Love is in the air. I definitely want one of those cupcakes, l'Angleterre." He smiled at me. I pulled my goodies away,

"On second thought, they probably don't taste that good."

I told Elizabeth and Kiku about the cupcakes.

"Too bad Antonio had to foil it." Elizabeth sighed at the counter of her job, "It would have worked too."

"What else could we do?" I asked.

"We need to embarrass him. In front of everyone!" Elizabeth's eyes twinkled, "How about we rig the table so his food will topple on top of him."

"That could work! But when could we rig it?"

"Kiku has a spare before lunch." Elizabeth gestured to Kiku who was browsing at a gardening book. He looked up and nodded. The next plan was set.

I assumed Kiku had rigged the table so I was careful to place my tray on the table. I had got two big ice-creams. I knew Francis wouldn't want to eat one because he was on a diet but these weren't for eating. If everything worked out right, Francis would sit opposite me and the table would collapse causing the ice-cream to go all over him in front of the whole school. Francis approached the table. I smiled. I smiled wider when he pulled out the seat across from me.

"Francis!" Alfred approached and distracted him. I frowned. This was just a slight roadblock. Francis would sit down any moment…

"Is this seat taken?" Gilbert sat down across from me.

"Wait! No!" I yelled. The table gave way and my tray spilled all over Gilbert. The whole school began to laugh. I sighed as Gilbert stormed away. I swore I saw Roderich follow him.

"This is ass, you guys!" Elizabeth complained, "It's been a month and all we've been able to do is make Antonio yell random confessions to his cousin. It doesn't even involve Francis."

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"It's not your fault, Igirisu." Kiku patted my shoulder, "I was really busy with the school newspaper."

"We've got to crack Gilbert Beilschmidt." Elizabeth announced, "We crack Gilbert and we crack the lock on all of Francis' dirty history."

"Say crack again." Kiku suddenly demanded.

"Crack." Elizabeth laughed, "Alright, let's discuss our plans tonight. Igirisu, mind if we go to your house? I want to meet your brother."

"I can't. I have to go to Francis' to practice for the talent show. We're doing this dance to this song…"

"The Bad Touch song." Kiku and Elizabeth finished my sentence.

"You guys know that song?"

"Everybody in the English speaking world knows that song." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. I wanted to correct her and say I was from England and I still hadn't heard it. Must have been an American song…

"They do it every year."

"Well I have to learn it." I sighed and looked over to see Francis coming, "uh oh!" I nudged Elizabeth, "Go, go!" They scurried away. Francis looked at them leave then back at me,

"Hey!" I greeted because I didn't know what else to say.

"Why were you talking to Elizabeth Héderváry?"

"Uh…" I scrambled for an answer, "I don't know, I mean she's so weird!" I felt guilty for talking behind Elizabeth's back, "She just, you know, came up to me and started talking about crack!" Francis sniggered,

"She's so pathetic." I just nodded, "Let me tell you something about Elizabeth Héderváry. I used to date her in middle school."

"But aren't you gay?" I blurted. Francis laughed again,

"I am from the country of love. I don't mind the gender as long as it's beautiful. It's embarrassing though, right? I don't even…whatever." Francis waved his hand, "So, in eighth grade, I told Elizabeth that I was going to try manlier things like sports, though I never did. Well, she called me sexist and told me anything I could do, she could do better. She became really independent and I almost felt like the girl in the relationship. Gilbert told me that when they were kids, she told him she had a…well un _verge_." My French wasn't that good but I could understand what he was gesturing at. "So instead of breaking up with her, I cheated on her with a girl from France called Jeanne. Nice girl." Where's the logic in that? I thought, "Elizabeth was furious and her mum yelled and my mum and then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. When she came for high school in the fall, all her hair was cut off and she was pretending to be a boy. Between you and me, she should just accept who she is and stop this "I'm tough" business. Besides, she wasn't even a good kisser and now she's on crack? Mon dieu!" Francis looked bored.

"So," I cleared my throat, "Are you going to candy grams?" It was almost Christmas, so I didn't know why we weren't doing a Christmas themed talent show.

"No," Francis admitted, "I don't send them. I just get them." He smiled, "So, you better send me one babe. Je t'aime." Francis blew a kiss and left me boggled. I had finally found out why Elizabeth hated Francis so much. A plan formed in my head. I was definitely sending Francis a candy gram. I was going to use three candy grams to crack Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Author's Notes:

We finally found out why Elizabeth hates Francis. I hope it makes scene. Sounded so much better in my head. I had to throw in the France x Joan of Arc part :) I love that pairing!

A scary sorcerer anime…it could happen! Lol Kiku likes Domo. Maybe they use the ketchup to make cosplay videos!

Arthur made love cupcakes! And rigging the table is actually a cut scene from Mean Girls.

I was going to pick a Christmas song but instead it's the Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Group. Such a perv, Francis!

Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"**

Chapter 7:

I sat in English class completely bored. I had already studied all of Shakespeare's works and I knew the ends and outs of every verse. Gilbert was in my class to keep me entertained. We were passing notes. Mainly the notes were all about how awesome he was but some were about the routine we were going to put on for the Christmas talent show. So were singing this song called The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang but it has nothing to do with Christmas. It's actually all about…well the birds and the bees to put it lightly but Gilbert says it's an awesome song and the talent show is only at Christmas so when else would they get to perform it? Touché.

I'm surprised the teacher hasn't caught as passing notes yet. She thinks I'm paying attention but only because I know all the answers already. Suddenly the classroom door opens and in walks a blond boy dressed as Santa. He's carrying a large brown sack,

"Candy cane grams!" He announces in his thick Finnish accent. The teacher looks disappointed that she was interrupted but she allows it.

"Berwald Oxenstierna, two for you." He threw them at Berwald.

"Wifey, are one of these from you?" The Swedish boy asked. Tino blushed almost as red as his Santa suit,

"Su-san…of course!" He dug in his sack and pulled out a big bundle of candy canes, "Sealand?" He spots the small boy in the front row and throws them at him, "Four for you Sealand! You go Sealand!"

"Yes! I am popular!" Sealand, also known as Peter, sits at the "nations that aren't considered nations" table in the cafeteria. I bet he sent them all to himself. Tino pulls out some more minty canes,

"Arthur Kirkland? Do we have an Arthur Kirkland here?" He surveyed the class. Gilbert looks over at me. I pretend to be surprised.

"That's me." Tino smiles at me and gives me my candy cane.

"Here you go, one for you."

Gilbert raises his hand, "Is there one for the awesome me in that sack?"

Tino frowned but doesn't even bother to check, "None for Gilbert Beilschmidt." He then turned to leave, "Bye." I watched him go but suddenly I felt Gilbert's eyes on me.

"Who's that from?" He demanded sounding curious. I opened the card and smiled. Everything was going to plan.

"Thanks for being such a great friend, l'Angleterre. Aimer, Francis." I smiled at Gilbert, "That's so sweet!" Gilbert looked in disbelief. He snatched the card from my hands. I watched him read it, the color leaving his face. I was glad they typed the cards or I was sure Gilbert would have known my hand writing.

Once Gilbert thought Francis was mad at him because he didn't receive a candy gram, the secrets started pouring out. All I had to do was wait for one I could use.

On the night of the talent show, I was so nervous. Iain and Mint Flying Bunny were coming to watch. I begged them not too but they didn't listen. Kiku was performing first. He was doing a dance called the "Caramelldansen" dance. Elizabeth told me later that someone had the nerve to throw a shoe at him. I hadn't been watching. I was too busy with the Bad Touch. Francis was somewhere else. I guessed he was with Alfred but I didn't want to think about it. Gilbert was complaining,

"I don't get it! Why would Francis send you guys candy canes and not the awesome me?" Gilbert adjusted the hat on his head. We were all wearing fancy suits but most of the buttons weren't done up and the tie was loosely hanging off our necks. I wore a hat as well. We were supposed to be gentlemen but sexyfied or something.

"Maybe he forgot about you?" Antonio suggested as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah, Francis has been acting kind of weird lately." I piped up, "Is there something bothering him?" I was trying to get a secret out of either of them.

"Well, his parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, if that's what you mean." Gilbert realized he said something he shouldn't have, "Mein gott! Don't tell him I told you that!" I smiled to myself. This was progress.

We were on after Romania's group. Apparently he was putting on a "special show" with the rest of the Black Magic club, me included except I was stuck with the Bad Touch. I really wanted to watch but Gilbert seemed to just keep talking,

"Why would he send you a candy cane?" He thought aloud, "He doesn't even like you that much…he just wants to sleep with you." I felt violated. Gilbert continued, "Maybe he feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about his nose job." Gilbert paused, "Mein gott! Pretend you didn't hear that!"

Romania's act got cancelled. Apparently, they were trying to perform a black magic ritual. What's the harm in that?

We were next so as the curtains closed, we lined up in the order we had practiced.

"Igirisu!" I looked over to see Kiku and Elizabeth standing in the wings waving.

"Get out of my way, perdants." Francis pushed past them.

"That little…" Elizabeth held her tongue.

"I've seen their routine." Romania appeared next to Elizabeth suddenly, "Personally, I'd rather see you out there shaking that thing." He winked and left, causing Kiku to start to laugh. Elizabeth was speechless. Francis appeared to be in a good mood until…

"Gilbert, switch sides with l'Angleterre." Francis demanded. Even Antonio looked surprised.

"But I'm always on your left." Gilbert protested.

"Well, that was when there were there of us and now I want l'Angleterre with me in the middle."

"But the whole dance will be backwards." Antonio looked confused.

"I'm always on your left." Gilbert repeated.

"And right now, you're getting on my last nerve." Francis glared at him, "Switch." I looked at Gilbert to move. He was looking at Francis in disbelief before he silently switched places with me so I was next to Antonio. I heard the principal announcing our act before the curtain opened. We stood in our starting poses. Gilbert ran up to the front where an iPod dock sat. He gave a small wave to Roderich who was sitting in the front. I wasn't sure if they were dating now or what.

The music started and we started our, who would even sing a song like this?, dance. I cringed as I knew Iain and Mint Flying Bunny were watching somewhere in the audience.

Everything was going well. I was remembering my dance steps and the crowd seemed to be enjoying it. I saw Bella videoing the performance in the aisle as well as dancing along. I saw Gilbert wasn't focussing. He kept messing up the routine. He walked into Francis who pushed him in the direction. Gilbert by accident kicked the iPod dock and suddenly the iPod got stuck like a broken record. We all froze in our positions. Francis gestured for Gilbert to fix it. Gilbert ran over to the iPod dock only to kick it off the stage right into Roderich's face. The crowd gasped.

"Roderich! Are you okay?" Gilbert looked back to Francis who looked humiliated. We were stuck in the middle of our routine on stage and we didn't know what to do. I sighed. I had an idea. I started to sing,

"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals." I prayed someone would start singing with me and suddenly the crowd started to. Feliciano even started playing it on the piano. How could everyone know the lyrics to such a perverted song?

We finished our routine and the crowd burst into applause. We took a bow before fleeing the stage.

"That was the best it ever went!" Antonio cheered. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Alfred. I was disappointed his hand was also on Francis' shoulder,

"That was awesome." He admitted. He went to kiss Francis but to my luck, Francis rejected him,

"Later." Was all he said. Romania walked by,

"Good job England." He complimented.

"Thanks." I smiled. I felt pretty proud of myself.

"Arthur's blushing." Gilbert suddenly announced, "You totally have a crush on that guy!"

"You do?" Antonio grinned, "That's great amigo."

"No I don't." I denied.

"That's why you wanted to join the Black Magic club." Antonio point out.

"You like Black Magic?" Alfred looked scared but then grinned, "Whatever floats your boat I guess." I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Look how red you are." Gilbert smirked. He felt like he was on top of the world with his accusations, "You love Romania and he totally complimented you. That is so fetch!"

"Gilbert!" Francis snapped, "Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen." Gilbert looked taken aback. Francis tucked on Alfred's arm, "Let's go." The two left leaving me with Antonio and Gilbert.

"Gil, are you okay?" Antonio asked concerned. Gilbert glared at me.

The next day in English, we had to read to the class the essays we wrote on the play Julius Caesar. Gilbert hadn't said a word to me all day. He stood up to read his essay,

"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed by his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? He's not that awesome. Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus as much as they like Caesar because he's more awesome. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Cause that's not what Rome is about! That's not awesome! We should totally just stab Caesar!" Gilbert was breathing heavy after his speech. The teacher didn't even flinch. Gilbert Beilschmidt had cracked.

"Gil, are you okay?" I whispered.

"Come with me." He demanded. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of class straight to the toilets. I wondered if the teacher cared. She hadn't objected. Once we were in there, Gilbert started to talk, "If you even knew how mean Francis really is…" Gilbert breathed, "You know I'm not allowed to wear cross necklaces, right? Yeah, two years ago, he told me it was his thing and I wasn't allowed them. And then for Oktoberfest, my father made me a Teutonic knights cross and I had to pretend that I didn't even like it…and then Vatti scowled me. It was so sad!" I patted Gilbert on the shoulder comfortingly. Recently, he had been blabbing secrets so I had a feeling he was about to tell me a big one. He took in a big breath and continued, "And you know he cheats on Alfred." I felt my eyes widen, "Yes! Every Thursday, Alfred thinks Francis is doing SAT prep but really, he's hooking up with Alfred's twin brother Mathew in the projection room above the auditorium." Gilbert looked grieved, "I never told anybody that because, I'm such an awesome friend!"

Jack pot! Gilbert's secret had put the plan back in motion.

Author's Note:

Chapter 7 is complete! I'm not really sure how many chapters this is going to be but I'm almost an hour into the movie.

Finland just had to be Santa! And Sealand had to be "Glen Coco"! You go Glen Coco!

That dance scene was difficult to write. Should there have been more description?

The Teutonic knights cross is the one Germany wears.

Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"**

Chapter 7:

After Christmas break, Kiku, Elizabeth, and I tried every Thursday to catch Francis in the act. It wasn't easy. We tried for a whole month, and the only people we were able to catch were Mr. Vargas and the principal making out up there once. Francis was way too devious!

"Why did we think we could do this?" I sighed and rubbed my head. Kiku and Elizabeth had come over my house to study for an upcoming test, "We're amateurs!"

"No!" Elizabeth shook her head, "We just have to think of another battle plan. Think outside the box."

"What are Fett Muskel bars?" Kiku held up a box.

"They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars." I explained, "My brother used them to help him gain muscles when he wanted to enter the Highland Games." Kiku and Elizabeth exchanged a look, "What?"

"Igirisu," Elizabeth smiled, "We have a battle plan."

"Francis, I know how much you want to lose weight and I have the perfect thing for you." I presented Francis with the Fett Muskel.

"Thank you L'Angleterre." Francis grabbed my hand instead of the bar. I quickly wiggled out of his grip and gave him the bar. He stared down at it, "What is it?"

"They're these strange nutrition bars my mother used to use to lose weight."

"Bless her soul." Francis then frowned, "but it's all in like Swedish."

"It has this ingredient in it that just burns carbs but it's not legal in the States yet." I realized that lying was getting easier and easier.

"Maybe we should as that kid if he knows what it means." Antonio offered pointing to the Nordic table, "I heard he's from Sweden."

"Oh crap!" I thought before I quickly said,

"He'll tell you the exact same thing I told you." I gestured over to the other table, "Besides, he doesn't look in the mood to talk." I was lucky that Berwald Oxenstierna, from Sweden, always looked scary and not in the mood to talk. Francis shrugged and took a bite of the bar,

"Yum! Nutrious!" He smiled. I made a mental note to fiddle with his scale when I was over his house next. I had a feeling Francis watched his weight and if he saw his weight increasing, he would stop eating the bars.

The weird thing about hanging with Francis is that I could hate him but at the same time, I still wanted him to like me. Weird right?

"Francis, you're so skinny!" Gilbert commented, "You don't need to lose weight."

"Shut up." Francis rolled his eyes.

Same with Gilbert, the meaner Francis was to him; the more Gilbert tried to win Francis back. He knew it was better to be in the Bad Touch Trio, hating life, than not be in it at all.

Because being with the Bad Touch Trio was like being famous. Everyone knew who you were. I had random people coming up to talk to me who I'd never seen in my life.

I was possessed…and not by the Black Magic Club. I spent 80% of my time talking about Francis and the other 20% I was praying someone would bring him up so I could rant about him some more. I knew Kiku and Elizabeth were getting bored with me but I couldn't stop! It just kept coming up like word vomit!

One day, Elizabeth presented me with a poster.

"Hey, there's going to be an anime convention in town and Kiku and I would love it if you could come. You should take a night off from your 'double life' and come have some fun with your real friends." I looked down at the poster.

"I would love to come…Oh bollocks!" I face palmed my forehead.

"What?"

"I can't come. Iain has tickets for this bagpipes concert. Ugh, I don't want to go but…" I saw Elizabeth looking at me innocently, "You know what. I'll talk to him."

Elizabeth hugged me, or as she calls it "glomp", "You're the best, Igirisu!"

Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse that I could to talk to Alfred. He had grown on me and just the fact that he was dating the Frog made me feel sorry for him. One day in math I poked him in the shoulder,

"I don't get this." I lied, "Do you get any of this?" Alfred was just about to answer when Mr. Vargas placed a recent test on my desk,

"Good job Arthur!" He smiled. Alfred saw the 98% on the page and raised an eyebrow at me,

"It kinda seems like you get it dude." I inwardly sighed when Alfred turned around, "What!" Alfred suddenly yelled.

"What's wrong Alfred?" Feliciano asked.

"You obviously gave me the wrong paper." Alfred pointed to the exam which had the low mark of 42%.

"But it has your name on it." Feliciano pointed out and returned to handing out the exams. Alfred face palmed,

"How could I have failed? I actually studied for this one."

"You know." I suddenly had an idea, "I could tutor you if you wanted."

"You would?" Alfred grinned.

"Sure, you could come to my place…ah…do you think Francis would mind?"

Alfred cocked his head to one side, "Why would that matter?" I cringed and Alfred seemed to have read the atmosphere for once, "No, you guys are friends. He should be…" Alfred paused, "Maybe we just won't tell him." I nodded.

After school, I was so paranoid that Francis would find out. I nearly jumped out my skin when the group approached me.

"So what are we doing?" Gilbert asked.

"We should go to that new coffee shop." Antonio suggested.

"What do you want to do L'Angleterre?" Francis asked me, "Alfred's busy so I guess I could hang with you guys."

I turned to the ring leader, "I'm busy, sorry."

"What are you doing?" Gilbert demanded.

"Are you going on a date?" Antonio teased.

"Date?" I tried not to show any blush, "No, no! I'm tutoring someone." Francis looked suspicious and interested at the same time, "Some stupid kid in my math class." I quickly added.

"Who?" Gilbert questioned.

"Um…don't know his name." I tried to shrug it off, "Excuse me. I don't want to be late."

"Well, have fun!" Antonio smiled. I couldn't shake Francis' eyes off of me as I walked away.

Alfred was at my house quite punctual. Iain was at the bakery so I had the house all to myself.

"Let's hit the books shall we?" He said with his signature grin. I showed him how to do the basic problems and after an hour of me yelling at him and many mistakes, he was actually getting it.

"You make this sound so simple Artie." Alfred smiled, "You're a great tutor." Now I don't know if it was this math or his stupid grin but I felt the urge to kiss him. And what did I do? I grabbed his shirt and crashed his lips on mine. It wasn't like he was far away. The two of us were already pretty close. He even started kissing back too but he suddenly pulled away before the kiss got too intense.

"You know…look I can't do this…" Alfred frowned, "It's not fair on Francis…"

"But he's cheating on you!" I slapped my hands over my mouth the minute it came out but I couldn't take it back.

"What? With who?" I shook my head, "Tell me Arthur." He demanded. I sighed realizing he was going to get the information out of me somehow.

"It's Matthew Williams."

"Who?"

"Your brother!"

"Mattie would never do-"

"Look Francis tells me everything…even the stuff I don't want to know." Alfred looked into my eyes and nodded.

"I think I'm going to head home." Alfred started packing up. When he left, I hoped he wouldn't tell Francis I had told him.

It was an hour after Alfred had left when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Arthur! Amigo! You have to come over! Francis is freaking out!" I gulped. Had Alfred told him?

Authors Notes:

Sorry for the long wait and HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

Thanks to all the supportive comments I recieved! Keep them up!


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"

Chapter 9

I took the longest route to Francis' house. I was sure I had been found out.

Bella opened the door, "Oh good you're here! Francis is so upset. Everyone is upstairs."

I gulped as I ascended the large staircase. I could hear quiet sobbing from Francis' room. When I opened the door, Gilbert and Antonio were sitting on the edge of the bed while Francis was lying face first into a collection of pillows.

"L'Angleterre? Is that you?" Francis sniffed.

"Yeah..." I said quietly, looking around the room. I saw a teddybear that had been ripped to shreds by a envelope opener and broken photo frames all on the floor, "Are you okay Francis?" Obviously not...

Francis sat up, "Alfred broke up with me...somebody told him about Matthieu..."

"Who?" Gilbert glared in my direction.

"He said someone on the football team..." Francis suddenly grew angry, "I gave him everything! He was a virgin when he met me and let me tell you-"

"How about we do something fun?" I was glad Antonio had interrupted him, "Do you want to go out for churros?"

"Toni...I am on a diet. Not everyone wants to eat your churros, crétin. I need a drink!" Francis stomped out of the room with Gilbert following closely behind.

Antonio stared blankly at the door before I spoke, "You're not...stupid." I thought stupid sounded more kind than dumb ass...

"I am actually." Antonio admitted, "I'm failing almost all of my classes...even Spanish."

"Well...there must be something you're good at."

Antonio's face brightened up, "I can put my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?"

"No!"

"Lovi likes it when I do it..." Antonio frowned, "I guess I'm also physic."

"Really?" Now I was interested.

"It's like I have ESPN or something. My nipples can always tell when it's cold outside...though I have to be outside to tell."

"Oh..."

Suddenly Francis returned, "Toni, I will take you up on those churros. Alfred, va te faire foutre! You weren't that good anyway."

I was glad to hear that Francis was so quick to move on and that he hadn't found out that it was I who had told Alfred of the affair.

The next day in math class, I was surprised and disappointed that Alfred didn't ask me out. It was obvious he had feelings for me...

Maybe he needed some time, but how much time?

On the bright side, the plan to bring Francis down was going splendidly. Alfred had dumped Francis and Francis was eating 5,000 calories a day. All that was left was to turn Gilbert and Antonio against him...

I spaced out Mr. Vargas announced the nominees for Spring Fling over the intercom. I was too distracted over Alfred and how to turn everyone against Francis and...Alfred. He seemed to be on my mind a lot lately.

"Francis Bonnefoy."

"Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Elizabeta Héderváry."

"Kiku! What the heck?!" Elizabeth hissed as Kiku tried to contain his laughter.

"Gomennasai," He chuckled, "It's just part of the plan."

"Arthur Kirkland." My ear perked up at the sound of my name.

"Kiku! You weren't supposed to put my name in!" I grumbled. I didn't want anything to do with the Spring Fling. It didn't even make sense for boys to be nominated...

"I didn't." Kiku said innocently, "People must have nominated you."

"Really?" I coughed, "Not like I care though." Honestly I felt honoured.

Since Francis knew he would be nominated for Spring Fling months in advance, he had a suit made for him at a really fancy store. Being part of The Bad Touch, he had to ask our opinions before he bought it. I took a seat on the chaise lounge with some tea one of the fitters had brought me and watched what was about to go down.

Francis was having trouble with the zipper on the pants and Antonio was trying to help.

"Perhaps it's the wrong size?" Antonio suggested.

"The seamstress is from France she would not have made any mistake! I was fitted only a couple of months ago."

"Maybe they grabbed the wrong suit!" Gilbert suggested.

Francis turned to me frustrated, "All I have been eating are those bars you gave me. They suck!"

"No, it's how they work." I was very amused by the whole situation, "You're running on water weight. First you bloat and then you drop ten pounds. It explains it all on the label."

"You read Swedish?" Francis stared me down.

"Yeah...it's England's second language.."

An attendant came back, "Is there a problem?"

"Could we get this resized?" Gilbert asked.

"You want it taken in?"

"More like..."

The attendant's face dropped, "If I had known you would put on more weight, I would have referred you to Sears."

Francis was mortified...excellent!

Author's Notes:

I'm back! And I am finishing all my unfinished stories including this one. So stay tuned for the next chapter!


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the movie "Mean Girls"

Chapter 10

One day after math class, pulled me aside.

"How are you doing Arthur?" He had a serious tone which was very unlike him.

"Good...is there a problem with my grades?"

Mr. Vargas chuckled, "Far from it. I'm just worried about who you're hanging out with. I hear Romania still has a spot open in his club, if you're interested." He frowned, "I know right now being popular seems like the most important thing but high school doesn't last forever." He placed a hand on my shoulder, "Just try to make the right choices."

"I will try."

"And know you can always talk to me, if you need someone to talk to."

I removed his hand from my shoulder, "Thank you Mr. Vargas." I left the room, not realizing someone had been watching us.

"So L'Angleterre, what did have to say?" Francis asked after school when we were all at his place.

"Oh...it was nothing."

Francis placed a hand on my shoulder, "It's okay, L'Angleterre. You can tell us if a teacher touched you inappropriately."

"What?!" Gilbert and Antonio chirped.

"Oh it was nothing like that!" I quickly said, "You make sound like a child molester."

"Put it in the book!" Gilbert grinned, grabbing the burn book.

"Oh no I couldn't that-"

"No one is ever going to see it." Francis grinned, "Promise." I wrote it in the book. It's just a silly book for The Bad Touch's amusement, right? Mr. Vargas would never see it...

I hadn't seen Elizabeth or Kiku in a while and I felt bad but I was just obsessed with bring Francis down.

That night I called Francis to discuss Spring Fling. Unknown to him though, I had Gilbert on the other line. Tonight, I would show both Gilbert and Antonio who Francis really was. Luckily for me, Francis was distancing himself from Gilbert again.

"Gilbert, I can find out if Francis is mad at you. Stay on the line, okay?" I dialled Francis' number and his little sister picked up.

"Bonjour?"

"Sesel, can I speak to Francis?"

"He's in his room with Mattieu. I'll put you through."

"Ah! That's okay-" Too late. She had put me on hold. Suddenly Francis' picked up, out of breath.

"L'Angleterre! What do I owe the pleasure of?"

"Are you busy?"

"Non?" He whispered innocently.

"I'll make this quick. Are you mad at Gilbert for being nominated?"

"Did he put you up to this?" I heard Gilbert suck in a breath on the other line. Francis sighed, "I'm not mad at him. I'm just worried. He's not going to get any votes because he's too hot headed and then who's going to have to deal with him? Me. Also he's not that handsome. Spring Fling King has to be handsome. That's why Antonio should be nominated but everyone forgets about him because he's such a man slut. Anyway, got to go. Round two!"

I recoiled at the thought, "Well he's not mad at you."

"Hold on." I heard Gilbert dialling and then Antonio picked up.

"Buenas noches!"

"Antonio, it's Gilbert. You will not believe what Francis said about you-"

"Hold on, Gilbert. My phone is beeping." He was gone for a bit and then came back, "It's Francis, he wants to go out but he told me not to tell you." I face palmed.

"Don't go out with him."

"Why?"

"You're not going to like this..."

"One second...Él me moleste!"

"Huh?"

"Who is this?"

"Gilbert..."

"Oh...one second." The line was quiet for a second and then he came back, "Okay, Gilbert, what do you need to tell me?"

"Francis says everyone hates you because you're such a man slut!" The silence on Antonio's line meant my work here was done.

The next day at work, Gilbert and Antonio approached the table together, placed their lunch trays down and crossed their arms.

"Francis, we have to talk." Gilbert cleared his throat, "You're wearing sweat pants today."

"And?" Francis did not look amused.

"And that's against our rules since no one can make sweat pants look good. You can't sit with us." Antonio didn't look Francis in the eye.

"Those rules aren't real." Francis grimaced, "These pants are all that fit me at the moment. When L'Angleterre's bars start working, I'll be hotter than both of you."

"You can't sit with us!" Gilbert shrieked.

Francis looked at me and then the rest of the Bad Touch Trio before standing up, "C'est des conneries!" He marched away, his butt twice as big.

I had done it. I had taken away all that mattered to Francis: his looks, his man candy, and his loyal followers. I felt I had done humanity a favour. Also I could finally hang out with my true friends and do what I wanted.

That was until...

"So what are we doing this weekend?" Gilbert asked as he and Antonio followed me down the halls. They had been following me all afternoon. I couldn't get rid of them!

"Nothing? I have a bagpipes concert to go to with my brother."

"A what concert?" Antonio looked upset, "But this weekend!"

Suddenly I realized, was I the new Francis?

"Is there anyway you could get out of it?" Gilbert asked.

"I guess I could try..."


End file.
